As each of the four events occurred my response was *exactly* the same:
- I know it's coming, and it has to happen, but it's going to be dreadful.
- It's happening soon, everything is falling into place and it's going to be dreadful.
- It's happening now and it's not dreadful just yet, but I'm sure it's going to get worse.
- That wasn't dreadful at all.
This is not a good way to live your life. While I can argue that I was able to take steps to ensure some of the worst nightmare scenarios didn't unfold as a result of me anticipating them, I'm not convinced it's valid. After all, surely a modicum of common sense would give you the ability to prepare for disasters without necessarily anticipating them?
Systems are inherently predictable. While handing over the control of said systems is difficult for me, it should never *ever* be cause for such stress and wasted time.
Yes, wasted time. Because I cannot possibly function well if the larger part of my brain is fretting about the onset of some purely hypothetical situation.
I will endeavour to stop anticipating disaster. Perhaps I should set aside time to do a formal risk analysis for even trivial things and see if that will let me relax a bit. I mean, setting aside half an hour to risk assess on one day vs several days of being distracted has to be a more efficient use of my time, right?